Oh my goodness! Where to begin? How should I do this review? Should I keep it "G" rated, "PG" or give it the full blown "R" rated version? At this point I’m rather indecisive, but I think I will just write and see how it develops. Anyways, I hope you are ready for a pretty long read, because I have a feeling that this is going to be lengthy.

I HAD SO MUCH FUN. It was unbelievable. I am still in a Justin fog. It all began about 1:00 Friday afternoon. Brenda (HoosierOldie) called me and said, "I’m on my way! See you soon!" I rush home from work and the minute I walk in the door she called and told me where she was. I made arrangements to meet her and bring her to my house. We spent Friday night in an all-night Justin lovefest. We ordered pizza and she brought a tape that had several of his performances that I hadn’t seen before (like Good Day Live and the Tom Green Show). My remote control will never be the same (rewind, pause, play!)

Saturday morning around 8:00 Kyana calls and says, "I’m on my way!" Turns out she got up at the crack of dawn. You know, I was actually pretty nervous about this weekend. Meeting people and talking to them via the message boards are two totally different things. I kept thinking, "What if they don’t like me?" Turns out I was stressing for nothing. The minute she steps out of her Explorer it was like I had met up with a long lost pal. As we were walking into my house Brenda made some comment like, "Now maybe Janie will get into the shower." I called her not only a beotch, but a nagging beotch. Kyana just laughed and said, "At least now I know that I won’t have to watch my language!" Okay. So much for the "G" rating. Eff it. I’ll let Here! post the intellectual, "G" rated review!

We leave my house and head towards Chattanooga. On the way there we play Justin’s CD and a bootleg CD that my friend had made of Justin’s AI performances. Once we got to Chattanooga we called Tess to get directions to the mall. She told us that occupant was already there and that she would be there later.

We arrived at the mall around 12:30 or 1:00 and went to the center court where Justin was supposed to be performing. There was already a line that had formed. We started looking for some board people and I immediately recognized RoseMadder. We walked up and introduced ourselves. Cin was there and said that she had been there since 7:30 that morning! Now, that my friends is some kind of dedication! She pointed out occupant to us and we went over to meet her. She gave us some flyers and stickers to hand out.

The line was roped off so we went to take our place at the end of the line. There was a sign that said the first 30 people would be able to get autographs! We started counting heads and we were the last of the 30 people. We spent a few minutes stressing about what if someone in front of us lets a friend cut in line??? Yes, we’re pathetic. That will be patently obvious before you get to the end of this review!!!!!

While standing in line Kyana, Brenda and I took turns handing out flyers and stickers and collecting names and e-mail addresses for Justin’s official website. It was fun talking to the people standing in line with us, most of whom were Mom’s (and quite a few Dad’s) who had brought their daughters to see the show. You would be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t knowing the promotion Justin’s CD is getting from his management team) but two-thirds of the people we talked to did not have a clue that he had a CD in the stores that they could purchase. They know now!!!!!

Kyana called whirly to see where she was and her ETA. The mall personnel had decided to extend the 30 people to get autographs to 100! WOODHOOOO! We breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that we were definitely safe. There was a security guard standing right next to us handing out blue tickets which you had to have to get into the Meet and Greet. We started stressing about whirly and Karate. What if they didn’t show up until after the 100 tickets were given away? So, being the shameless hussies that we are we walked up to the security guard and started batting our eyelashes. We told him that we had two more people who were en-route. Actually, we didn’t know if that was true about Karate, but we were not above lying to score those tickets for our friends! Truthfully, the more you read there were quite a few things that we were not above doing as the day progressed!

The security guard, power God that he was with those tickets, could not be swayed. He was adamant that he could only give them away if the people were actually there. While we were devising another plan, who should show up? Whirly! YEAH!!!! She gets her blue ticket and we spend some time introducing ourselves. She showed us her sign that she had made (it was totally awesome!). One down and only one to go!!!!

Karate. Nobody had a clue what she looked like. Not a clue as to her age. By this time the center stage area was filling up and getting very, very crowded. How were we to find her? WE STILL HAD TO GET HER A TICKET!!!! The security guard was unswayable. So what to do next? On to Plan Two. That guy over there looks like he’s in charge! Send out the flirts! We gave him our sob story. Told him we had a friend flying in especially for this event. This time we scored! He told us to come and find him when our friend showed up and he would give us a ticket! As we were talking to him, the security guard came over and said, "Ah. I see you went over my head, eh?" Damn skippy, we did. We are nothing if persistent!!!! By the way, the guy we talked into giving us a ticket was head of promotions for the mall. He came through for us. His name is Jeff and I have posted a thank you thread that I would love for you all to publicly thank him. I e-mailed him the link so that he could see how grateful to him we are!

We can finally relax. We have taken care of all our girls! I walk over and spend some time talking to Tess and occupant. Let me tell you, Tess is a hoot! She cracked me up. I got to see pictures of her family and she had me rolling in the floor with her stories. Occupant is probably one of the nicest women I have had the fortune to meet. You know, besides the obvious thrill of getting to see and meet Justin, the experience of meeting the board members was one of the highlights of the whole event!

I go back to my place in line. Anticipation at this point is steadily building because it’s getting closer and closer to THAT time. All of a sudden screaming erupts! JUSTIN!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! He walks to the stage to do a sound check. He waves to the crowd and they go absolutely wild. Everyone but me, that is. YEAH, RIGHT!

He was only on the stage for a few minutes. But that was enough to get the crowd in high gear. The radio personalities took the stage and threw some t-shirts into the audience. I will say this about KISS-FM. They promoted Justin’s CD. They mentioned several times that his CD was for sale in the mall. Even though it was a small venue, the people of Chattanooga now know that he has a CD for sale!

During all these goings-on we got to meet Mes & Itty and Joseph and his family. We also look back and Here! had arrived! I didn’t even know that she was coming! We drag her into line with us and the next thing I know there is this woman tapping my shoulder and tentatively saying, "Janie?" I say, "Yes?" and she says, "I’m Karate!" Seems that she remembered what I looked like from my Memphis pictures that I posted. I scream, "KARATE! It’s about time you decided to show up!" We all introduced ourselves (let me tell you, it was one big hug fest!) and we told her about her magical blue ticket. She said with wide-eyed wonder, "You mean I get to meet him and get an autograph?" I have to tell you that seeing her look of joy was simply priceless to me!

The radio station then did the VIP back-stage promotion thing. The radio personalities looked out over the audience and picked those posters and those people who had dressed up for the occasion and chose those that they thought were best. And of course, out of the seven or eight who were chosen, three were board members! Cin, whirly and Itty were chosen! Whirly’s poster was awesome. She had drawn a picture of Justin in purple and pink and had included KISS-FM on it. Cin’s said, "I drove 565 miles to get a kiss from Justin!" The radio personalities went down the line and asked each person why they were a fan of Justin’s. There was one young boy (probably 11 or 12) up there and when they came to him he said, "Because he was better than Kelly!" YOU GO BOY! Couldn’t have said it better myself. Most of the girls (except ours) just said, "Cause he’s so hot." Whirly and Cin said that his music moved them and that he has a wonderful voice. The audience was to decide the winner. The two finalists came down to whirly and Cin and the radio personalities graciously gave them both VIP passes. What they didn’t know was that whirly already had one! So she gave her other one to Here! I absolutely cannot wait to read her review of that experience. I’m sure that hers will be more coherent that ours was (more on that later!)

Okay, one other thing before I start with the actual concert review (I told you this was going to be long!) Most everyone doesn’t want pictures to be posted. But if you’re as curious as I was you want to know what everyone looked like. Just let me tell you, Justin’s House has some real hotties in existence here. Kyana is beautiful, Here! and Karate are regal, classic beauties, whirly is young and bubbly and cute as a bug-in-a-rug, and Brenda is just beautiful inside and out! All of them are thin and skinny. Except me and Brenda and we decided that we hate them beotches! (You all know that ain’t true!)

Onto the performance! Right before Justin came on stage, Eldrin showed up, working the audience. He spent some time talking with Cin and RoseMadder and Tess. He was walking across the line and the next thing I know he is right in front of me! I got me a big ole hug and told him that one of the things I enjoyed most about AI (besides watching Justin perform) was seeing him in the audience!

Next thing I know, screaming is erupting everywhere! Wonder what this could mean? Yep, here comes the fro headed towards the stage! And there is a God and she loves me because there are NO long sleeves! Granted, no wifebeater. Just a tee-shirt, but you can see those gorgeous arms of his! I cannot even begin to describe how hard my heart was beating. He came on and asked if it was okay if he sang us a song. IS THE POPE CATHOLIC? Are you outta your mind, Justin? Of course by now, you all know what he sang. OHTM, UM and Sorry. Again, there is a God and she loves me because our spot in line just happened to be center front which is where he stayed for most of the performances!!!!!! He went to the sides ever so often, and he pointed to the people in the balcony a couple of times, but most of the time he was RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!!!!

A line of pre-teens were right in front of us, but Karate and Brenda were able to get directly behind them for pictures. I can’t wait to see them. I didn’t take pictures this time (my daughter had borrowed my camera). The performances? Flawless. Absolutely flawless. It was breathtaking. And you may find this surprising but UM got most of the screams from the pre-teens and teenagers. Especially when he hit the high notes (which by the way were absolutely amazing!). Poor whirly. I felt sorry for her because I know that I gripped her arm a lot during the performances. I hope she doesn’t have bruises!

No, he did NOT do the crotch grab. He just teased the hell out of us. He did a "feel his leg thing" that left me in an absolute puddle. This was on his performance of OHTM. It started with his hand on his stomach (almost like Kelly used to do if that gives you a visual). And then he slid his hand downwards past his (uh, you know) and onto his thigh. Jesus Christ. I get chillbumps just thinking about it! He also teased us unmercifully with his hair. He ran his fingers through it and kinda grabbed a chunk of it. There are no words to express how sensual that was. You had to be there to see it!!!

Karate got a MAJOR eye-boink!!!!!! That lucky beotch. She said later that she didn’t even catch that. She was too caught up in the overall performance. We caught it though and it was smoking hot!!!!!

Of course the performances were way, way too short and over way, way too quickly. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE DAY WHEN WE HAVE JUSTIN IN A FULL-FLEDGED CONCERT! In between songs, Justin talked to us a lot more than he did in Memphis. At one point in time he told the audience how very appreciative he is of them. He told us that it was at small venues (I don’t think he used that word and I am paraphrasing but you get the idea) such as this that he is very aware of how much his fans mean to him. That we would come out to support him means a lot to him. And I believe every word of it. He is just so gracious and self-effacing and humble. HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MAN! He went on to say that his job is not an easy one. He said, and this is a pretty accurate quote, "Oh, boo-hoo. I know. I get to be on TV and in movies. Tough job. But no, really. It’s hard work. It is a demanding schedule." And we all know that it is. But yet, as demanding as it may be, he spends two hours signing autographs with his fans. AGAIN, HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MAN!

So, all too soon, he was leaving the stage. Those lucky people with the tickets were led into a portion of the mall where the offices were located. We were about halfway down the line. We had to stand in line probably at least an hour before we were anywhere close to getting our autograph. Kyana, me, Brenda and Karate were together as Here!, occupant, and whirly went with the group that had the VIP passes. The standing in line time was spent talking about the performances, talking about Justin, and getting to know one another. I’ll have to be honest in that there was quite a bit of jutter talk going on during this wait. After all, you’re talking about me, Kyana AND Karate all at the same time. Like smackd posted, "RUN JUSTIN RUN!" I won’t go into great detail about the jutter talk but I will tell you about the funniest line of the day. We were talking about what we were not above doing in order to meet Justin. That included flirting shamelessly. Then it progressed to what we were not above doing in order to make love with Justin. And all of a sudden, petite, demure Karate piped up, "I’m not above drugging him!" BWAAAAHHHHHHH. I had to cross my legs to keep from peeing on myself. We wondered if we could find a drug dealer anywhere in the mall!

We finally got up to the front of the line. We spent quite a long time talking to Jeff (the promotions manager who scored the ticked for Karate). He found it amazing that a bunch of women from all over the U.S., who had never met each other were there in Chattanooga just to see Justin Guarini. Ah, such is the power of Justin!

And finally, there he was! In a room, sitting on top of a table, all relaxed with his legs stretched out, big grin on his face. Beautiful. The man is simply beautiful. We walk in and I think I was the first to get my autograph. I introduce myself and sit right next to him on the table. I tell him that I am from Justin’s House. I didn’t have to explain what that was. He didn’t look perplexed (like what the hell is that?) He didn’t ask what that was. He knows about us!!!! I specifically asked him and he said yes. I told him that he should visit us sometime. I told him that we are his biggest fans and that we quite truthfully simply love him and his music. And then I pointed to Karate and said, "And she especially loves you!" He got this big smile on his face and told me that he appreciates all that we do for him!!!!! And then it was picture time. He put his arm around me and I did the same. I touched his jinglets! OMG, soft, soft, soft! He looked at me and told me to smile (as if you could have washed that grin off my face!). Brenda took our picture and then it was over. I walked away and shouted, "I have died and gone to heaven!"

I don’t remember if Kyana or Karate went next. Or it may have been Brenda. I don’t know. I was in a fog. I know that Brenda got an autograph for her granddaughter Jordan. And I took the picture of them together. Pretty sure Brenda got a feel of the rock hard body too!!!! I didn’t get to hear what Kyana and he talked about. I heard about it later! BWAAAHHHHHHH! Seems as if the old Justin magic turned her into a babbling idiot! We’ve decided that we should take up donations here at the House to buy her a dictionary to expand her vocabulary. Seems as if Justin asked her where she was from. She said, "Louisville." He asked her name. She said, "Kyana." And then she said, "Thank You!" BWAAAHHHHHH!!!! Four words. What fun we had teasing her about that. Driving back home she lamented, "Boy, I sure bowled him over with my wit and charm. At least I said thank you. If nothing, I am polite! Next time, maybe I can expand it to five words. "Louisville. Kyana. Thank you, Justin. Too, too funny!!!!!

And then it was Karate’s turn. She sits on the table beside him and starts her long sob story about how she had to drive from point A to point B, fly to point B to point C and then to point D. Rent a car and drive from point D to E. Seems as if that’s another thing she’s not above doing, throwing a sob story to garner pity. AND IT WORKED! Justin looked at her and said, "Now, that’s a true fan!" and gave her a big ole smooch on the cheek!!!!! So, not only did the beotch get an eye-boink SHE GOT A KISS TOO!

And then, our autograph session was over. We went outside to wait for whirly, Here! and occupant. As we were sitting there I looked at my autograph (which I had yet to do). It said: Jane – Peace and Blessings – Thank You Justin’s House! – Justin Guarini. OMG! He recognized us!!!! And I have proof!!!!!! Kyana called Cherie and told her about our experiences.

We kept trying to call whirly on her cell but we kept getting voice mail. It was getting late and Karate had to leave to make her flight back home. We went to eat and reminisced about the day’s events. We tried calling whirly and occupant a couple more times but we had to leave. After all, Karate had to get back from visiting her relatives and Kyana had to get back from the flower show she went to!!!!!!